Taking your baby may not immediately measure up to months of anticipation. You longed to see that bassinet occupied but now every whimper alarms you and the responsibility can feel overwhelming. Don't try to do everything "by this site" as the nurses did in the hospital. Go into retreat. Let somebody else take care of you and your household while you do things only "for the baby". You need the discover that you can keep your baby r baby safe and comfortable and happy so forget everything else. Keep her in your arms, at your breast or chest beside you and you'll find that apart from a clean diaper now and again, that's all it takes. Women vary in how quickly they recover from birth and in how easily they learn to care for their babies, but nobody ought to have to cope alone in the first couple of weeks, even after a normal delivery of one baby, let alone after a Caesarean or twine. If you come home after a 48 hours stay in the hospital, you and your baby will still be getting to know each other milk to come in.
You will want to sleep when she sleeps, cuddle and care for her when she is awake and have somebody else can just as lovingly for you. A week later you may be fir to make yourself a sandwich and putter around the house, but you stll need all your energy for the baby and you shouldn't have to use it on the shopping, the launydr or the housework.
It isn’t just service that you’ll need, though. It’s someone with when you can share the extraordinary experience of being a parent and the awesome responsibility for a new human being who is yours.
Employers who will give fathers paternity leave are still unfortunately rare, but it’s worth asking. If your employer says no, it’s worth thinking about using vacation time or even unpaid leave….Worth it for everybody because a father who truly shares these first days at home can learn to be just as skilled and confident with her as her mother. And that means that the baby will have two equal parents, rather than a senior mother and an assistant-father who feels he must ask permission to pick up his own child.
If you don’t have a partner who can be with you, make some other plans:
Having a relative to stay may be the answer, but don’t land yourself with somebody you’ll feel you have to treat as a guest. She’s supposed to wait on you. Be wary of somebody who thinks herself and expert on babies. This is your baby and you’ve got to find your own ways of handling her. The helper you need will wash the floor while you wash the baby.
A friend who knows what it’s like may be relaxing and reassuring company. A friend who doesn’t know what it’s like may raise your morale by admiring everything you do while a young cousin or neighbor may give you the practical help you need without interfering.
In an emergencytalk to your doctor, midwife or hospital social service worker. In addition to providing help directly, they can refer you in other sources in the community.
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